


This Beat is a Chemical

by mistermistyeyed



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dehydration, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Protectiveness, Sickfic, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistermistyeyed/pseuds/mistermistyeyed
Summary: The company is putting more pressure than ever on NCT 127 to make their upcoming comeback more successful than their last. With the overwhelming need to succeed and deadlines hanging over their heads, the hyungs are the most stressed they've been since debut, with only one goal; perfection.Unfortunately, Donghyuck pays for their negligence.





	1. Chapter 1

Donghyuck tripped over his feet again, holding back a wince when the sudden movement elicited a sharp pain from his throbbing head. He kept his gaze trained at his shoes, willing away the dizziness and avoiding the exasperated looks he knew his hyungs were giving him.

The music cut off, and while Donghyuck was thankful that the loud music was no longer heightening his migraine to unbearable levels, the sudden silence was somehow worse. The only sound was the other members' heavy breathing, and the weight of their glares burned against his back. He heard an angry huff from Yuta's position behind him.

Taeyong sighed, and Donghyuck glanced up at him through the mirror. The frustrated look on the usually patient leader's face hurt worse than all of the aches in his body combined, and he quickly went back to studying his shoes.

"You have to focus, Haechan-ah," Taeyong said. "We have to be serious about this- the comeback is too soon to not be giving it our all."

Donghyuck nodded vigorously, despite the way the room swayed slightly at the movement.

Taeyong walked over to the speaker while everyone else shuffled back to their starting positions. Donghyuck took a deep breath to prepare himself for the thrumming music, focusing only on his own sweaty face in the mirror and trying to ignore the pointed looks he could see the members giving him in his peripheral vision. He really couldn't blame them- they could've moved on from this part of the choreography twenty minutes ago if Donghyuck hadn't kept messing it up.

The song started again, and Donghyuck pushed past the pounding in his head and tried to only focus on successfully performing the routine. The part that kept tripping him up in the choreography was approaching, and Donghyuck felt his heart pound even harder in anticipation. He closed his eyes, hoping that maybe if he couldn't see the way the world blurred in front of his eyes, he would feel less off balance.

He tried to rely on just muscle memory and instinct for the series of difficult footwork, and surprisingly, Donghyuck managed to not fall over himself. He was sure it must've looked sloppy as hell, but he didn't faceplant, so at the moment, it was good enough for him.

When Donghyuck did open his eyes, though, the dizziness was only worse than it was when he closed them, and he distractedly realized he was a beat late for the formation change. He lurched to the left, in the general direction of his next position, and was shocked when he slammed into another body, knocking the wind out of him and sending him tumbling to the floor.

He blinked rapidly, vision slowly clearing to find Yuta on the floor next to him, rubbing his arm with a sour look on his face. Someone turned the music off and Taeyong rushed over to them.

"Are you guys okay?" he fretted, already in full-on leader mode.

Yuta nodded briskly before turning to Donghyuck. "Can you try to make the hyungs' lives easier for once? Pay attention and stop wasting the team's time, Haechan."

Donghyuck's stomach dropped. He was trying his hardest, why couldn't anyone see that? Holding back frustrated tears, Donghyuck swallowed his confusion and awkwardly bowed at Yuta from his seated position. "I'm sorry, hyung. I'll try harder."

Tension blanketed the room as Sicheng helped Yuta up while Mark extended a hand to help Donghyuck up. Mark pulled Donghyuck into a standing position, and Donghyuck tried to keep holding his hand, but Mark abruptly pulled it away.

Taeyong broke the silence. "Why don't we take a water break? Go, rest for a few minutes, guys."

The members all headed off towards their water bottles, tired conversation gradually filling the room. Donghyuck stood for a few moments, trying to figure out how he'd gotten himself into this situation. He had known he was getting sick and had done all he could to stave it off, trying to eat nutritious food and resting every chance he got. But, despite his best efforts, here he was, with a splitting headache and fever-hot skin.

He felt guilty for wasting his hyungs' time, but he really couldn't help being sick, right? Maybe his hyungs hadn't noticed his condition. Donghyuck sighed, deciding he should probably tell someone to avoid the further wasting their time.

He immediately looked to Mark and found the older already looking at him, the pair making awkward eye contact. Donghyuck took a step toward him, but Mark quickly turned his back to him, a clear sign he wasn't welcome. Donghyuck's heart clenched painfully and he sighed, remembering how Mark had been angry at him yesterday at Dream's dance practice when he kept making mistakes, accusing him of messing around and not respecting him as a leader. The tired bags under Mark's eyes had made Donghyuck immediately forgive his harsh words. 

Donghyuck hadn't told him he was sick; he'd wanted to solve it on his own and not be a bother. Mark had enough to worry about already and Donghyuck would feel horrible if he added something else. Today was worse, though, and he didn't want to continue dragging his hyungs down. So, he looked for his second choice.

Doyoung was sitting off to the side drinking from his water bottle, and Donghyuck made his way over to his second favorite hyung, practically collapsing on the floor next to him.

"Hyung, I don't feel well," Donghyuck pouted.

Doyoung looked over at him and his eyes softened, grabbing a spare water bottle and passing it to Donghyuck. "I'm sorry Haechan-ah." He glanced around the room and sighed, looking back at Donghyuck. "Hyungs are hurting too. None of us feel well right before a comeback, but we endure it. You might have caught the cold that Sicheng and Jaehyun have."

Doyoung frowned and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Taeyong-hyung has to perfect the choreography with us tonight, or he'll get in trouble with management. Can you endure it for a few more hours, Hyuck-ah?"

Donghyuck felt ugly shame creep through him as he also glanced around the room. He noticed his hyungs' slumped figures and vacant eyes, the way Taeyong's shoulders were pulled taut with stress, and _oh,_ that's why they were all so frustrated with him. All of them were hurting, but Donghyuck was the only one selfish enough to let his own troubles hold the rest back.

Donghyuck dropped his gaze to his lap. "Of course, hyung."

Donghyuck felt Doyoung's eyes boring into him a few agonizing moments before his hyung spoke. "Is this because of what Yuta-hyung said?"

Donghyuck just shrugged, wanting to change the topic before guilt ate him alive; maybe he'd even have a chance to close his eyes for a few minutes before Taeyong called them back.

Doyoung huffed. "What he said was too harsh. He's been stressed, but so is everyone else. I'll talk to him after practice about taking his frustration out on people." Doyoung looked at him with a smile. "How about I make you some hot chocolate when we get back?"

Donghyuck nodded and smiled slightly, able to breathe a little easier knowing at least _one_ of his hyungs wasn't angry with him.

Taeyong called for the end of break, and Donghyuck sighed before bracing himself to endure the rest of practice just like his hyungs would. He wasn't even sweating anymore, so he assumed that was a sign that his fever had broken. He could definitely do this.

Even with Doyoung's motivational words echoing in his head. Donghyuck's limbs felt like they weren't obeying him, making his movements sluggish and half a beat behind. At least his hair wasn't dripping with sweat anymore, but the nausea he had been suffering the past few days came back with a vengeance, forcing him to take a bathroom break to dry heave in one of the stalls.

The routine seemed a lot harder to remember than it had an hour ago, and Donghyuck started to mess up the parts he thought he had down. The sequence of the moves were getting jumbled in his head, and it was frustratingly hard to remember his position during formation changes. He spent more time on the ground than he did actually getting the routine correct. Taeyong stopped rushing over to him after the 10th time Donghyuck waved him off after slamming to the ground, which Donghyuck was somewhat thankful for; his head had hung in embarrassment every time the leader held out a hand to him. 

After another hour of practice without much progress, Donghyuck couldn't muster up any more energy. His heart was pounding and his head was spinning, and no matter how much he'd disappoint Doyoung, he really didn't think he could endure it much longer.

Donghyuck was confused about why he felt guilty about feeling sick in the first place, and he couldn't really remember what Doyoung had said to him an hour ago. He knew that his fleeting memory and scattered thoughts should probably be alarming, but he couldn't muster up the energy to care.

Why had he been practicing while sick, anyway? Shouldn't he tell somebody? Wait, had he already told somebody?

"Taeyong-hyung, could I take a five minute break? I don't feel well," he asked after one of their run-throughs of the choreography, too far gone to even care much about how everyone's eyes were on him at the request.

Taeyong looked at him and ran a hand down his face, stress obvious in his hunched shoulders. "Haechan-ah, I'm sorry, but we can't really afford that. You're having the most trouble with the routine, and it has to be done tonight. I was planning on having us finish by midnight, since some members have dance practice with U at 6 in the morning tomorrow, but it's already 12:30 and we're not close to done."

Donghyuck shrunk back, trying to make sense of his hyung's words. "Uh.."

Johnny stepped up and grabbed one of Taeyong's hands to stop him from wringing them together anxiously. "Taeyongie's right, Hyuck-ah. Dream's practice ended early yesterday so you had a lot of time to rest, but U's practice went late, and they have to be up early. Let's do well so they can rest."

Donghyuck felt like his brain was working at half speed, and he was still trying to formulate an answer when Jaehyun stepped forward, eyes narrowed at his silence. "Yah, be respectful, answer your hyungs."

He felt the glares of the other tired, overworked boys, and by the time he processed what Jaehyun was accusing him of, Yuta stepped forward with a scoff, muttering, "Typical," loud enough that the single word reverberated in the tense room, before he turned on the music and everyone went back to their starting formation. The music startled Donghyuck, and he made it to his spot just in time. His throat tightened, but surprisingly, no tears sprang to his eyes.

The song progressed, and Donghyuck felt he was flailing more than he was dancing, but he could hardly keep up with the beat between the sharp pains in his head and the lightheadedness. Nausea rolled through his stomach, and Donghyuck clenched his teeth against it, knowing he hadn't had anything in the last 24 hours to even throw up.

In the middle of the footwork that had been the bane of his existence all night, his leg cramped violently. He fell for what felt like the millionth time that night, but this time, his leg muscles were seized up, stopping him from breaking his fall. He crashed to the ground, ankle twisting violently in the wrong direction, and the sharp radiating pain in his ankle overwhelmed the pain of the cramp. He would have cried out, but his throat and mouth were too dry to make much of a sound, so all that escaped was a barely audible squeak.

He barely registered the music restarting, until he heard Johnny's voice cut through the air. "Haechan, let's go! Taeyongie said no breaks."

His voice was tight with anger, and that spiked Donghyuck's adrenaline, because _hyungs are mad_ , and despite his reputation, he never wanted to make his hyungs genuinely _angry._

Donghyuck jumped up, body responding to the anger in Johnny's voice reflexively, but he immediately slammed back into the ground as his ankle gave out from under him. The sound of the music was oddly muffled as the pain in his ankle spiked. His heart was hammering against his ribcage, and he squeezed his eyes shut as his head pounded in unison with his thundering heartbeat, stomach rolling uncomfortably as he swallowed convulsively

His cracked his eyes open after a few long moments and he abruptly realized he was being cradled in Doyoung's lap. His breathing immediately quickened as he panicked, because how had he not even _realized_ he was being moved? His hyung's lips were moving, but Donghyuck couldn't hear the words through his muffled hearing, and that scared him even more.

He stared at his hyung's face with wide, fearful eyes as feeling returned to his limbs. He could feel Doyoung's arms wrapped around his back and someone's hand enclosed tightly around his own, but he didn't want to move his eyes from Doyoung's face to see who the hand belonged to.

Slowly, his hearing faded back in, and he realized the music had been turned off. The only sound in the room was Doyoung's voice, which Donghyuck had never been happier to hear.

"Shh, Hyuckie, hyung's got you. It's okay, hyung's here. Can you hear me? Please, Hyuck-ah," Doyoung muttered, his tone soothing but with a frantic edge.

"H-hyungie?" Donghyuck forced out of his tight throat. "Hurts."

Doyoung looked somewhat relieved hearing him answer, but worry was still etched into every line of his face. "I'm here, Hyuckie," he answered, stroking his hand gently through Donghyuck's hair with a thoughtful frown. "Can you tell hyung what hurts?"

Donghyuck's leg cramped violently again, and he stuttered out, "E-everything," with a choked off sob.

He heard a choked gasp off to his left and realized he was surrounded by his other hyungs. Mark was the one holding his hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb and avoiding Donghyuck's gaze. He couldn't focus his vision on anyone else's face, but he could spot Taeyong's pink hair. The leader was turned away from Donghyuck, arms raised as if covering his face with his hands. He was confused, but as he strained his vision, his head spiked with a particularly harsh throb, causing Donghyuck to whimper and rest his eyes back on Doyoung's face.

Doyoung stroked his thumb across Donghyuck's cheekbone, looking heartbroken. "I'm so sorry, hyung is so sorry. Do you think you can tell me what hurts the most, baby?"

Donghyuck drew in a shuddering breath and took a few moments to discern the question he was asking. "Head, stomach, a-ankle."

He felt someone gently touch his ankle and flinched violently, curling into himself and pulling his ankle away. He glanced down to see Sicheng, hands extended and face situated in a small, comforting smile. "Can hyungie look at your ankle?"

His warm expression and soft, lilting Korean relaxed Donghyuck, and he slowly extended his ankle back towards his hyung. He felt Sicheng slowly roll up his sweatpants, cool air suddenly hitting his ankle. Jaehyun cursed at whatever sight met them. No one scolded him.

Doyoung broke the heavy silence. "Johnny-hyung, he isn't sweating."

"What?" Johnny asked, voice sharp. Donghyuck flinched at the tone, mind blaring _hyungs are mad_ , but a gentle hand rubbed his calf, effectively distracting him. Donghyuck glanced over and could just make out Taeil's reassuring smile through his spinning vision.

"I'm saying, we've been practicing for three hours, his skin is burning, but he _isn't sweating_ ," Doyoung ground out, thumb still gently caressing Donghyuck's cheekbone. That sentence seemed to shift the atmosphere in the room, but the implication was lost on Donghyuck.

Doyoung gently tapped his cheek, and Donghyuck realized he had been saying something to him. "W-what?"

"I said, when was the last time you drank some water, Hyuckie?" Doyoung repeated, gently.

Donghyuck thought, brow furrowing. He took a few minutes to answer, but everyone waited patiently with bated breath. "I-I don't know. One- no, two days ago, m-maybe?"

"Fuck," Johnny spat in English, rushing over to the side of the room. He returned fast enough to make Donghyuck's head spin, pushing an open water bottle towards his face. "Here, Channie."

Donghyuck immediately turned his head away, burying his face in Doyoung's stomach. "N-no, too sick, I'll just throw up a-again," he whined, voice slightly muffled.

Johnny grabbed frantically at his shoulder, but Doyoung tightened his hold on Donghyuck and hissed, "You're kidding, right? Be _gentle_."

A smaller, more careful hand rubbed his shoulder, and Donghyuck heard Mark softly say, "Hyuck? Can you look at me, please?"

Donghyuck slowly moved his face away from Doyoung and looked into Mark's wide, guilt-filled eyes. He'd never been able to refuse Mark when he requested something in that tone.

Mark gave Donghyuck's hand a soft squeeze and Donghyuck weakly squeezed his hand back. "Can you please take a sip of water for me? It's okay, it can be a tiny sip, but just- _anything_ , please."

Donghyuck had never heard that tinge of desperation in Mark's tone, and it scared him. "Okay," he relented. "O-only a little."

Mark took the water bottle from Johnny, who looked as if the world had crashed down on him. He held the water bottle to Donghyuck's mouth and poured a small amount. Donghyuck swallowed but quickly turned his head away from the bottle as his stomach flipped.

"Is that all?" Mark asked disappointedly.

Donghyuck grabbed weakly onto Doyoung's shirt and nodded slowly. "Sorry, hyung, I-I tried."

"Don't be sorry," Doyoung muttered, pulling Donghyuck closer to his chest.

The door to the practice room suddenly slammed open, and Yuta appeared in his line of sight as he talked quickly to the group, sounding out of breath. "I called the manager, an ambulance is on its way. He said we should go down to the lobby so it'll be quicker."

Donghyuck furrowed his brow. "Ambulance? Is... someone hurt?"

Yuta let out a broken noise that Donghyuck had never heard the Japanese boy make. " _You're_ hurt, Hyuckie. Don't worry, the doctors will make everything better," he said, voice cracking on the last syllable.

Donghyuck shook his head lethargically, struggling to understand Yuta's sudden sympathy. Hadn't he told him to stop making things difficult? "But.. no, I'm okay. I just need a b-break. We're a-all hurting, it's okay."

Donghyuck felt a tear hit his face, and he looked up to see Doyoung crying silently. "This is _so_ far from okay. That's not what I meant when I said that. You're hurting a _lot_ more than we are, and you need help, Hyuckie."

Donghyuck closed his eyes as his throbbing head conjured up his previous conversation with his hyung. Doyoung had made a good point before, hadn't he? "But- choreography. Taeyongie-hyung will... get in t-trouble with management."

He heard footsteps, and suddenly nimble fingers were carding through his hair. "Fuck management," Taeyong said fiercely. "You're way more important than anything they might say to me. Do you understand?"

Did he understand? Honestly, not really. He didn't understand most of what was happening at this point. Why was he so _confused_ ? Donghyuck simply buried his head into Doyoung's stomach once again, breathing in the familiar scent of his hyung's detergent to distract himself from how much everything _hurt._

 _"_ We need to get down to the lobby, right now. Johnny, can you carry him?" Doyoung said, voice mostly steady.

There was a moment of hesitation before Donghyuck heard Johnny shuffle closer to them. "Hyuck-ah, can hyung lift you up?"

Donghyuck had no idea why he was even asking, but he slowly nodded his head. Johnny's hands snaked around him carefully, as if he were made of glass.

Regardless of how gentle Johnny was, his body exploded in pain when he was lifted. He felt something in his ankle _shift_ , and pain blossemed in his head at the sudden shift in altitude. He heard voices, but all he could focus on was the bright bursts of light behind his eyelids, before consciousness slipped away from him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks so much for reading!! This is my first NCT story so please let me know if people were out of character, all constructive criticism is welcome(:
> 
> ill try to add a second chapter soon!!


	2. Chapter 2

Donghyuck startled awake to the sound of his door slamming, silently cursing Jaehyun for being an inconsiderate roommate. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, hoping to catch at least a few more minutes of sleep before Johnny would barge into their room and rip the covers off of him. However, there was an irritating beeping off to his right that prevented him from drifting off again.

Donghyuck huffed and attempted to roll over, away from the incessant beeping, but the movement washed his body in a sudden pain that had previously been muted, causing him to abort the movement with a sharp gasp. His head was pounding, his ankle felt numb yet oddly heavy at the same time, and his entire body burned with a dull ache. He laid perfectly still for a few seconds, trying to simply breathe until the pain receded to something more tolerable.

After a few moments, Donghyuck pried his eyes open, hoping to grab some Advil from his bedside drawer. He froze when he saw his surroundings. He was in a clean, all white room- definitely  _not_ his shared room with Jaehyun. His breathing began to pick up because  _where the hell was he_ , but he relaxed slightly when he saw Doyoung, Taeyong, and Johnny hovering near the end of the bed, heads all turned towards the brown door at the other side of the room.

"H-hyung?" he croaked, barely able to force any words out of his dry throat. All three immediately whipped their heads around to look at him with startled expressions, and Donghyuck probably would have laughed at the sight if it wasn't for the confusion clouding his brain and the anxiety thrumming through his body.

Doyoung was the first to move, striding purposefully to Donghyuck's bedside and grabbing a glass of water that he hadn't noticed. "Here, Hyuck-ah, this will help your throat," he said, holding the straw up to Donghyuck's mouth. 

Donghyuck hesitated, but after a moment he realized that he finally didn't feel nauseous for the first time in days, and he almost cried in relief. He considered grabbing the cup from Doyoung, because he may be the youngest, but he wasn't a  _child_. However, his arms felt like lead, and even the thought of moving them increased the bone-deep ache that laced his body, so he swallowed his pride. The water felt like heaven on his parched throat, and all too soon the cup was empty and Doyoung was taking it away.

Doyoung sat down in a chair that had been pulled up next to his bed and grabbed Donghyuck's hand carefully, as if any sudden movements would cause him to break. Donghyuck felt some of the tension bleed from his body at the contact. "Does anything hurt?" Doyoung asked.

Donghyuck shook his head and winced when that elicited a particularly harsh throb. "Not really, hyung, just- what's going on?"

Doyoung's face crumpled slightly and Donghyuck regretted asking a question that had made his hyung look so defeated. "You really don't remember anything, Hyuckie?"

Donghyuck furrowed his brow, trying his best to recall how he'd ended up in this situation. The memories of last few days of hiding his sickness and his dance practice with 127 were clear, and as he thought harder, memories of how that practice ended swam back to him- his hyungs yelling at him, falling... The rest was a confusing jumble of the ambulance ride and doctors running through different tests and machines while he squeezed his eyes shut against the bright lights and fell in and out of consciousness.

Donghyuck felt embarrassment and vague panic flow through him as he realized how out of his control the situation had become. He took a deep breath, unsure how to react and feeling pressured under the heavy gazes of his hyungs. He liked to  _fix_ things and make everyone happy, but now he had no idea what to do, or even how to feel. Donghyuck squeezed Doyoung's hand so he wouldn't notice how his smaller hand had begun to shake slightly.

Donghyuck fixated on the bags under Doyoung's eyes and latched onto a problem he could actually fix, doing his best to ignore the fact that he had messed up so bad he was in a hospital. "I remember now, hyung- most of it. What time is it?" he asked, his steady tone surprising even himself. Donghyuck knew what he was doing- Renjun had yelled at him a thousand times for it, and Donghyuck had refuted as many times that Renjun wasn't his therapist. In Donghyuck's opinion, 'healthy coping mechanisms' and 'facing his own problems' was overrated, anyway. 

Doyoung frowned slightly. "It's really late- or maybe technically early. Why?"

Donghyuck glanced at Johnny and Taeyong, tensing further under their undivided attention. "I mean- doesn't U have practice this morning? You guys should go home and rest, I'm fine, really."

The room was bathed in silence for a few moments until Johnny stepped forward and placed his hand on Donghyuck's calf, his touch light and barely there. "Hyuck-ah, U's practice was cancelled, not that it really matters. You're more important than any practice, you shouldn't be worrying about those things."

Donghyuck's breath stuttered, knowing that management would be angry enough with 127's failed practice- he didn't want to imagine what they'd say if he'd also messed up U's practice. He'd just wanted to handle everything himself, and now he'd made everything so much worse. "It's not really a big deal, hyung," he said, trying to mask his mounting panic with as much false confidence as he could muster. 

"What?" Taeyong's voice cut through the room, sharper than Donghyuck had ever heard it before, despite the tears that began to fill the leader's eyes. "Not a big deal? You have a concussion and fractured ankle. The doctor said you were severely dehydrated. The possible complications of that were kidney failure, seizures, a coma- even  _death_. He said 'even death,' Donghyuck-ah, he said you could've  _died_."

"I- what?" Donghyuck breathed out, voice weak. 

"Please don't claim that it isn't a big deal, Hyuckie. You shouldn't try to brush it off, it's not  _healthy,_ I don't know why-" Taeyong rambled, voice wavering and cracking on the last syllable.

"Hyung, don't you think this isn't the time for that?" Doyoung bit out, cutting Taeyong off.

Donghyuck had stopped fully paying attention, Taeyong's words 'you could've died' looping through his head over and over. But- he had just had the flu, right? How had it escalated that quickly? Dread wrapped around his chest, constricting until his breaths were short and quick. How- why had no one stopped it? Why had it escalated until he  _could've died_? Confusion, fear, and an unfamiliar bitterness surged through him, congealing into a single mass of ugly emotion. 

His gaze was frozen on Taeyong's face, and he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Taeyong deflated at the sight, face contorting into an expression Donghyuck was too overwhelmed to decipher, before he quickly fled from the room.

Johnny squeezed Donghyuck's calf, glancing back and forth between the door and Donghyuck's teary face.

Doyoung sighed. "Go check on Taeyong, we'll be fine." Johnny looked conflicted but eventually nodded, offering Donghyuck a reassuring smile before striding quickly out of the room. Doyoung huffed and glanced at Donghyuck with a forced smile, which quickly fell when he saw that his dongsaeng's tears had only increased, lower lip wobbling.

He stood up, reaching over to run his fingers through Donghyuck's hair. "Oh, Hyuckie- Taeyong is our leader, but he's kind of dumb sometimes, huh?"

Donghyuck sniffed, looking up into Doyoung's eyes. "I- I could've died, hyung?"

Doyoung sucked in a sharp breath and immediately wrapped Donghyuck in a gentle hug. Donghyuck hugged his hyung back, despite how his arms burned at the movement, because he  _needed_ the physical comfort, he needed it like he needed air. 

"It's okay, Hyuckie. The doctor said that we got here in time and that you're young and healthy. There weren't any complications, you didn't almost die, okay? You're fine, you're better now," Doyoung soothed, cradling Donghyuck's head gently as Donghyuck shoved his face in his hyung's shoulder.

Donghyuck had no idea how long he cried before his tears slowed and his chest loosened; it was long enough that his back had began to cramp from the awkward position. "Hyung, can you lay on the bed with me?" Donghyuck asked, ignoring how childish that request may have sounded. His head hurt worse after crying and he was still struggling to come to terms with the possible complications Taeyong had mentioned- his mind was running through  _what ifs_ , and all he wanted was to cuddle someone and take a nap so he could have a break from sifting through his mess of emotions. 

Doyoung pulled back, grabbing some tissues from the bedside table and gently wiping away Donghyuck's tear tracks. "I don't know if the doctors would like that, Hyuck-ah."

Donghyuck pouted. "Please, hyungie?"

Doyoung scoffed and glared jokingly. "You really think that would work? I'm immune to you after all of these years," he said, even as he helped Donghyuck shift over to make room. He climbed onto the bed and Donghyuck happily cuddled into his shoulder, eyes already drooping closed. "Be careful of your IV," Doyoung warned.

"Yes,  _mom_ ," he joked weakly, still sniffling slightly.

Doyoung playfully smacked Donghyuck's wrist, before wrapping his arm around him. "Night, Hyuck."

"Night, hyung," Donghyuck replied, a content smile on his face as let the steady rise and fall of Doyoung's chest lull him to sleep. 

* * *

Donghyuck awoke again to the sound of his door slamming, but this time it was slamming open instead of closed. He nuzzled into Doyoung's shoulder and groaned, wondering what he had done in his past life to deserve this. 

"You're kidding, right, Jaemin? This is a hospital, you can't run around flinging doors open like its the dorm!" Donghyuck heard Renjun hiss.

"We're the same age, you can't lecture me," Jaemin snarked back.

"Well, I can just wake up Doyoung and make him lecture you."

"If you do that, I'd just tell him about the time you snuck out and-"

"You guys are so loud that you're going to wake them up by accident anyway," Jeno cut in.

Donghyuck sighed, an involuntary smile spreading across his face at the familiar sound of his friends' bickering, despite the irritation he was trying to hold on to. "I knew there was a reason Jeno's my favorite, he's the only one with more than two braincells," he mumbled into Doyoung's shoulder.

The room was silent for a moment before he heard Jaemin laugh. "You just insulted yourself too, you know that, right?" That was the only warning he got before Jaemin was jumping on top of him; Donghyuck braced himself for the pain, but instead of just flopping on top of him like he usually did, Jaemin caught most of his weight in his arms, holding himself up and leaving Donghyuck surprisingly not crushed. 

Doyoung startled awake as the bed shook, causing him to almost roll off the side. "What?" he asked sleepily, looking around. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Hyuck was supposed to come over for breakfast, but he didn't show up, so we went to the 127 dorm and no one was there.  _So,_ we called the manager to ask and he told us what happened and gave us a ride here," Jeno explained.

Renjun huffed. "I don't know  _why_ no one told us last night. That's a little rude."

Doyoung sat up, rubbing his eyes. "It was almost two in the morning. Taeyong wanted you guys to rest."

"It should be  _our_ choice whether we want to rest or be there for Hyuck when he's in trouble," Renjun said sharply, and Donghyuck's eyes widened.

Jeno grabbed Renjun's wrist and gave him an imploring look, and Renjun sighed. "Sorry, hyung," he mumbled, making eye contact with Doyoung before quickly looking away. 

Doyoung shook his head, briefly squeezing Donghyuck's upper arm before getting up. "It's fine Renjun, I get where you're coming from- I'd probably be mad too." Doyoung stretched his arms over his head with a groan before letting them flop back down to his sides. "Donghyuck's only allowed to have three visitors at a time, so I'll leave you guys- just don't break anything, and come get me if you need anything."

With that, Doyoung left, and Jaemin wasted no time rolling off Donghyuck to steal Doyoung's spot. Jeno walked over and shook Jaemin's leg until Jaemin folded them up, allowing Jeno to sit cross-legged at the foot of the bed. Renjun grabbed the chair at the side of the bed and pulled it closer, plopping down near Donghyuck's head. 

"Well, now that Doyoung's gone," Jaemin said before reaching in his coat pocket and pulling out a bag of chocolates, a triumphant smirk spreading across his face.

Donghyuck's eyes widened, somehow just realizing how hungry he was. He pulled himself up slowly, leaning against his pillows and holding out an expectant hand. Jaemin plopped the bag on his palm and Donghyuck wasted no time opening it, popping a chocolate in his mouth and sighing as the sweetness melted over his tongue. "Candy this early in the morning? Kun-hyung would murder us," Donghyuck scolded in a scandalized tone, grabbing another chocolate despite his words.

The four shared the chocolate until the bag was empty, laughter and bickering making the hospital room seem brighter than it had been before. Donghyuck sighed contentedly, happier than he had been in days. He let his head fall against Jaemin's and his eyes slip closed. "Where's Chenle and Jisung?" he asked absentmindedly. 

"What kind of question is that? They're still sleeping, they never get up before nine on our days off," Renjun answered.

Donghyuck opened his eyes, casting a judging look at Renjun. "So, you just left the maknaes alone in the dorm? Did you at least leave a note?"

"No, even better- we left Ten, Kun, Lucas, and Jungwoo with them- basically everyone who's still at the dorm," Jeno said.

Donghyuck's brow furrowed. "What? Where's everyone else?"

Renjun scowled. "The rest of 127 were sleeping in the waiting room when we got here, trying to be good hyungs a little too late."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "They always try to convince us that they're older and  _wiser_ , but it doesn't take a genius to tell that Hyuck shouldn't have been practicing yesterday."

Donghyuck lifted his head from Jaemin's shoulder. "Wait- you guys knew I was sick?"

Jeno nodded. "Of course, that's why Renjun lied about having a migraine the other day, so Dream's practice would end early. We didn't think we'd have to _tell_ the 127 hyungs..." he trailed off, looking guilty.  

"No, you guys couldn't have done anything," Donghyuck was quick to reassure. "I told them during practice that I didn't feel well anyway, so it wouldn't have made a difference if you told them or not."

Donghyuck saw his friends' eyes turn cold. "They knew?" Jaemin said.

"And they still let this happen?" Renjun added.

Donghyuck nodded. "But I didn't tell them everything, just that I didn't feel well..."

That did nothing to alleviate the anger he could feel rolling off of the other three. "In all the years we've known you, the only time you admitted you didn't feel well was when you had pneumonia. Obviously, if you said that, it was serious. The hyungs really are self-absorbed," Renjun said.

"Fuck it, I'm going to fight them, and none of you are allowed to stop me," Jaemin declared. "I don't care if they're older, they deserve it."

"Are you pissed at them, Hyuck?" Jeno asked, eyes kind, but Donghyuck noticed his fist was clenched.

The three looked at him, awaiting his answer, but their gazes didn't feel heavy and suffocating like Johnny, Taeyong, and Doyoung's had. "I don't really know... kind of?" he found himself saying. "Management's been breathing down our necks so everyone's been pretty stressed out, but... I guess you guys are right, too. I did  _try_ to tell them, but they just- brushed it off? I mean, I remember toward the end I couldn't really understand what they were saying, everything was so confusing but they just...  _assumed_ I was messing around and being disrespectful. That's actually... really messed up, right?"

Jaemin wrapped a protective arm around Donghyuck, pulling him close. "Okay, that's it, I'm definitely going to fight them. Who should I go for first? Probably Winwin, he seems like he wouldn't put up much of a fight."

Renjun tsked. "But if you start with Winwin, then Yuta's going to come after you."

"Let him try," Jaemin replied. "I run on pure spite, I can take him. I'm also not afraid to play dirty; Jeno can tackle him when he's not expecting it. Right, Jeno?"

Jeno made a muscle and nodded seriously, and Donghyuck laughed while Renjun called Jeno scrawny.

His friends continued to come up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios to get revenge on the 127 hyungs, and Donghyuck felt warmth blossom in his chest. He always insisted he could handle everything himself, but having his friends angry on his behalf and ready to help felt undeniably comforting. He knew he was going to have to talk with his hyungs soon and try to fix this mess; Taeyong would probably call a group meeting as soon as he got home, but Donghyuck still didn't know what to say to any of them.

He didn't know how to fix this situation, and he definitely didn't know how to make everyone happy (least of all himself). But with his friends voices and laughter filling the room and Jaemin's arm providing a comforting weight around his shoulders, he felt a weight lift off his chest. No matter how his talk with the 127 hyungs went, he had Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin to back him up. So, instead of worrying about what was going to happen over the next few days, he laughed along with them, cheeks sore from smiling and heart full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took so long!! I don't have much time to work on it at college, but now that I'm on winter break I can finally give you guys some updates(:
> 
> Also, oh my gosh, thank you so much for all of your kudos and kind comments! Sorry for taking so long to reply to your comments- I feel like I can never adequately describe how much they mean to me and how unbelievably happy they make me :D I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter also(:
> 
> (Btw, to anyone wondering, Jungwoo is not in 127 in this because I started writing this story a few months ago, before it was announced that he was being added)
> 
> Happy New Year! I hope everyone has a great year, and I hope Haechan has a good rest and speedy recovery from his injury!!


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor finally left the room, and Donghyuck deflated, releasing the tension from his back and shoulders that had been maintaining his good posture. He allowed his back to slump and sighed- the doctor had been talking for  _so long_ , and Donghyuck had only retained about half of the most likely important things he'd said. Oh well, a manager or his hyungs probably received the same spiel, it wasn't a big deal.

Donghyuck flopped back on the bed, spreading out his arms and staring at the stark white ceiling. He was glad to finally be out of a scratchy hospital gown, even if the outfit Jaemin had brought him clashed in a way that his friend insisted was stylish. It felt amazing to be in his own clothes again, the familiarity of his slightly worn t-shirt and the smell of his laundry detergent grounding him. 

Donghyuck gripped the sheets in his fist, trying to slow down his racing, jumbled thoughts, to no avail. He would usually go to the practice rooms and let dance alleviate his stress, feeling his worries become distant and blurred between repeated run-throughs of old choreography. He would turn the music loud enough so he couldn't hear his own thoughts, letting the bass of the music and pounding of his own heart fill his world. 

Donghyuck glanced down at his casted ankle and felt his heart break a little. He couldn't dance for at least six weeks. The weight of the cast caused a similar weight to settle in his chest.

The door opened, interrupting Donghyuck's moment of peace. He sat up, expecting to see Doyoung and freezing when he realized it was Mark standing in the doorway. Mark didn't move, seemingly pinned down by Donghyuck's gaze.

Donghyuck broke the moment, turning and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," Mark breathed, shutting the door behind him. "I'm sorry, I know you probably don't want to see me, but I couldn't wait anymore, I just- had to see you."

"Pretty selfish of you, then," Donghyuck said plainly.

"Yeah," is all Mark said, and Donghyuck frowned down at his shoes.

Mark circled the bed, stopping in front of Donghyuck and crouching down so they were eye level. Donghyuck was forced to meet his gaze for a moment, and he felt his heart race under Mark's stare; Mark looked at him like he was the center of his world, and Donghyuck realized that Mark hadn't looked at him with such pointed attention since training for their next comeback had started a few weeks ago- and wow, how he had  _missed_ it.

Mark's eyes strayed from his and drifted upwards to latch onto the gauze that wrapped around his head, which hid the neat line of stiches spread across his upper forehead. They stung slightly as he thought about it; he barely remembered getting them, and thankfully, the doctor had seemed confident that any scarring would be minimal, focusing most of their conversation on instructions for his concussion instead. A furrow formed between Mark's eyebrows as he looked at the bandage, and Donghyuck would usually reach out and smooth it away with his thumb, but something held him back.

Mark continued looking Donghyuck over, shoulders slumping when his eyes landed on Donghyuck's ankle. His hand hovered there for a moment, seemingly debating with himself, before letting his fingers lightly graze the rough surface of the cast. 

When he looked back up at Donghyuck, his eyes swam with guilt, features pulled taut with a sorrow that Donghyuck had never seen on his face before. He reached up and cupped Donghyuck's cheek gently, his thumb softly tracing the slope of his cheekbone. 

Donghyuck wanted to lean into the warmth, craving the reassurance, but a similar situation flashed through his memory; Mark helping him up when he'd run into Yuta, him trying to maintain his grasp on Mark's hand, and Mark abruptly pulling it away without a second glance. Before he fully processed what he was doing, he pulled his face away from Mark's hand.

Mark stared at him with wide, shocked eyes, his hand still hovering where he'd been holding Donghyuck moments before. Donghyuck understood his surprise; this was the first time he could remember refusing Mark's touch. It was always Mark pushing him away on camera, dodging his attempts to kiss his cheek and ducking out of his hugs. The roles were reversed, and Donghyuck felt a sudden, vindictive rush of satisfaction; now Mark knew how much the rejection could sting.

Mark lowered his hand, letting it hang awkwardly at his side. "I'm sorry, Hyuck, I'm _so_ sorry," he croaked.

Donghyuck nodded but didn't say anything. He could tell Mark was sorry from the moment he walked in the room; the regret was painted on his features, from his tight frown to the worry lines that popped out on his forehead. And Donghyuck- he _wanted_ it to be enough, he wanted Mark's words to soothe the storm in his head and calm his heart. 

The apology wasn't as satisfying as Donghyuck thought it would be. He still felt the dejection that choked him when he thought of Mark, his bestfriend, his  _soulmate_ , not defending him when the hyungs yelled at him, not noticing when he was on the brink of collapse. Donghyuck noticed everything, especially when it came to Mark, and it  _hurt_ that the same care wasn't extended to him. 

Mark was staring at him still, and Donghyuck shivered under the attention. "Are you cold?" Mark immediately asked. "Do you want my sweatshirt?" Mark quickly tugged his sweatshirt over his head and held it out to him, eyes earnest and hopeful. Donghyuck hesitated, but he grabbed the sweatshirt, holding it in clenched fists.

Mark bit his lip, watching Donghyuck with troubled eyes. "What can I do? What do you need, Hyuck?"

Donghyuck sighed, because he honestly didn't know. He wished things could go back to the way they were a week ago, he wished he could forgive Mark easily- he wished his hyungs had paid more attention. "How am I supposed to know?" he asked, intending the question to come out snarky, but instead his words were small and unsure. 

Mark let out a long breath. He looked hesitant, but something in his eyes steeled; Donghyuck was suddenly reminded of the look on Mark's face the first time he had said 'I love you' back. "I... I took you for granted, and I didn't protect you the way I should've. It's the stupidest thing I've ever done. But I'll spend forever making it up to you."

Donghyuck's immediate knee-jerk reaction was to break the moment by teasing Mark's cheesiness, but emotion kept him at a loss for words. Mark had never been one for sentimental declarations, letting his actions speak instead. His sudden frank statement felt a bit like a slap in the face. Donghyuck felt something in his chest ease, just slightly, and he nodded slowly. 

Mark stood, his knees popping after being crouched in such an awkward position. "I'll find the nurse with your crutches so we can get out of here, okay?"

"Okay," Donghyuck muttered, and Mark sent him a soft, slightly shaky smile before leaving the room.

Donghyuck looked at the sweatshirt in his hands for a few moments before untangling it and pulling it over his head, careful to not let it catch on the gauze. He looped his arms through the sleeves and hugged himself, sighing contently at the way the sweatshirt engulfed his smaller frame. He snuggled into it and breathed in the scent of Mark, frowning slightly. 

Usually the citrusy scent of Mark's shampoo that always covered his clothes would make warmth blossom in Donghyuck's chest, but now it also conjured a vague bitterness and sharp sadness, and Donghyuck absolutely _hated_ it. 

The comfort and security that Donghyuck had come to associate with Mark over the years was tainted, and that hurt the most. 

He screwed his eyes shut, refusing to cry. He'd done enough crying. He knew things were broken now, but he thought of Mark's reassurance, and his heart settled. It was broken, but they'd fix it, eventually. They always did, and always would.

* * *

When Donghyuck hobbled into the waiting room, he almost tripped over nothing when he saw that all of 127 was still there, wearing the clothes they'd been in at practice and in various states of wakefulness. Sure, Renjun had said they were still there in the morning, but it was almost six in the evening- he didn't think they'd  _still_ be there. 

Johnny was the first one to notice Mark and Donghyuck's arrival, and he sent Donghyuck a small, tired smile before standing and walking over to where Yuta and Jaehyun were slumped in their seats across the room, trying to shake them awake with limited success. 

Taeil and Sicheng had been talking to each other quietly, and Taeil immediately stopped and stood up when he noticed the two of them. He strode over to Donghyuck and looked him over with an unreadable expression on his face, letting out a long breath after a few moments of scrutiny. He carefully wrapped his arms around him and Donghyuck stiffened, surprised.

Donghyuck was glad that his arms were occupied with his crutches; he wasn't sure if he wanted to reciprocate Taeil's hug or not, but with his arms slotted over his crutches, he didn't have much of a choice. The thought of ignoring Taeil's hug hurt his heart, but so did the thought of returning it as if yesterday's practice had never happened. Donghyuck pushed these thoughts aside and plastered a small, hopefully believable smile on his face. "Hi, hyung."

Taeil let go and Donghyuck relaxed, only to flinch when someone suddenly ruffled his hair. He turned his head and found Sicheng standing on his other side, looking at him with a small smile. Donghyuck tried to not let his shock show on his face, but it was hard; this was the first time he could remember Sicheng ever initiating skinship with him- Sicheng never really initiated skinship with anyone. 

"Lee Donghyuck, never do that again, okay?" Taeil said.

Never do what again? Break his ankle? "Uh, yeah, hyung, I wasn't planning on it."

Before Taeil could respond, Taeyong clapped his hands, gaining everyone's attention. "The manager is ready with two vans downstairs, and he says we have to get going," he announced. When he made eye contact with Donghyuck, his authoritative aura faded and he hunched in on himself slightly, sending Donghyuck a nervous smile. Memories of their last conversation unwittingly returned to the forefront of his mind, and he would much rather avoid addressing that conversation for pretty much the rest of his life. 

Donghyuck looked away only to make eye contact with Yuta instead, and he cursed his luck. His breath locked in his chest and he quickly turned his head in the opposite direction reflexively. He wasn't sure if Yuta was still mad at him, but the echo of his words-  _stop wasting the team's time, Haechan-_ ringing in his head was enough to make his eyes sting. 

He realized with a start that all of 127 was looking at him, and it felt strange that his skin itched under the attention that he usually loved. 

Donghyuck dropped his gaze to the ground instead, trying to ignore how he could still feel the heavy stares of his hyungs. Although it was awkward to not even mention what had happened, he really hoped no one would say anything. He was not prepared to have that talk- he hadn't thought he'd even _see_ them for at least another few hours.

Thankfully, Johnny cleared his throat and began walking to the elevator, everyone shuffling behind him. The awkward tension in the elevator was so heavy that Donghyuck thought it would choke him, and he was beyond grateful that it was only Mark, Doyoung, and Johnny that climbed into the van after him when they reached the parking lot.

As the van pulled away, Johnny plugged his phone into the aux cord, and seconds later, the first few notes of Michael Jackson's  _Off the Wall_ album floated out of the speakers. Donghyuck couldn't hold back a snort at that, because it was  _so_ painfully obvious that Johnny was pandering to him. Johnny glanced back with an embarrassed smile, and Donghyuck rolled his eyes, smiling slightly despite himself. 

Doyoung and Mark started a casual conversation about another group's recent comeback, and Donghyuck pulled the hood of Mark's sweatshirt over his head, burrowing down into the soft material with a content sigh. The familiar songs and the soft murmur of voices was comforting, and Donghyuck wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes and leaning against the window.

He was mostly asleep by the time they arrived at the dorms, and he was roused by a gentle hand rubbing his arm. He blinked sleepily and turned his head to see Doyoung leaning into the van, Mark and Johnny already standing on the pavement behind him. "You've slept all day, how are you still tired? Are you faking so we'll carry you up?" he scolded playfully. 

Donghyuck yawned instead of answering, shuffling across the seat and accepting Doyoung's arm to balance himself as he got out. Mark handed him his crutches and they set off into the building. They got into the elevator, and as it climbed to 127's dorm on the seventh floor, Donghyuck felt his anxiety return and begin to grow. Impulsively, he hit the button for the Dreamies floor right before they passed it, hobbling out as the doors slid open and ignoring Doyoung's confused noise.

"Donghyuck?" Johnny questioned. "Taeyong ordered food, we were going to have dinner now."

Donghyuck glanced back. " Sorry, but- I have to go to the Dream dorm, first. I haven't seen Chenle and Jisung yet. I'll just eat with them."

Johnny looked like he wanted to say something else, but Mark hit the close door button repeatedly, sending Donghyuck a small smile and a thumbs up as the elevator doors slid shut despite Johnny's protest. Donghyuck smiled slightly and continued down the hallway. He knew he was being a coward by avoiding the 127 dorm, but- he just really didn't want to be there.

Plus, he really  _did_ want to see Chenle and Jisung. 

When Donghyuck opened the door to the dorm, he was met with the sound of familiar laughter and bickering, and a delicious smell wafted from the kitchen. Donghyuck shut the door quietly and made his way to the kitchen, just in time to see Kun swat Chenle lightly on the hand with a dishtowel. "I told you two," he scolded, holding a spatula threateningly at Chenle and Jisung, who looked less than impressed. "Last time, you almost blew up the microwave. You aren't allowed near the kitchen appliances, remember?"

"Hey, haven't I told you two devils to listen to your hyungs?" Donghyuck said from the doorway, and all three whipped around with surprised looks on their faces. 

Immediately, he was almost tackled by his dongsaengs, only keeping his balance by sheer force of will. Chenle squeezed him so tight that it was almost hard to breathe, but Donghyuck wouldn't have it any other way. "Wow, it's almost like you missed me," he quipped.

"We wanted to visit you at the hospital, but they wouldn't let us-" Jisung said.

"We tried to sneak out, and it almost worked-" Chenle continued.

"But then the others got back and caught us, and Renjun-hyung was so mad-" 

"But it wasn't fair that they got to go and we didn't-"

"Hey, guys, relax, it's alright. Take a breath. I'm fine, see? No big deal," Donghyuck said, letting go of his crutches in order to throw his arms over their shoulders and ignoring the crash as the crutches clattered against the linoleum.

After a few moments, someone ruffled his hair, and Donghyuck smiled, turning his head to see Jeno standing behind him. "Thank God you're here, Renjun was about two seconds away from locking them in their room. Speaking of, didn't he tell you guys to fold the laundry as punishment for trying to sneak out? Won't he be mad if you haven't done it yet?" he said.

Donghyuck felt the two youngest stiffen in his arms, before bolting off towards the laundry room. "We'll talk later, hyungie!" Chenle called over his shoulder. Donghyuck laughed loudly and Jeno shook his head fondly as they saw their retreating backs dash down the hallway. 

"Here, Haechan-ah," Kun said, and Donghyuck turned to see that he had retrieved his crutches and was holding them out towards him. 

Donghyuck smiled gratefully and grabbed them, leaning on them immediately. "Ah, thanks, hyung."

Kun smiled at him sadly, but with no pity. Donghyuck had no idea how he managed that. "How long is the cast on?"

Donghyuck pouted. "About five weeks of torture. I'm really going to go stir crazy."

Kun patted his arm reassuringly. "It'll go by faster than you think, you'll see. I'm glad you're okay, Donghyuck."

Donghyuck smiled at him slightly and nodded, unsure how else to respond. The room's atmosphere turned solemn for a moment, before Kun grabbed his dishtowel and swatted Donghyuck on the back. "Hey, you're banned from the kitchen too- don't think I forgot about that time you lit a paper towel on fire. It was  _livestreamed_."

"Hey!" Donghyuck exclaimed. "That was the only fire I've ever started!"

Kun rolled his eyes. "Y'know, I'd feel better if there was  _no_ fire you'd ever started. Go and sit, everyone else is in the living room."

Donghyuck pouted but Kun only raised his dishtowel threateningly in response, causing Donghyuck to retreat to the living room as fast as his crutches would allow, Jeno following. The living room was a perfect picture of chaos, with Lucas chasing Renjun around the room with a Wii controller in hand, Jaemin cackling on the floor in the background, and Ten and Jungwoo hedging bets on which of them would win the argument.

"That was cheating!" Lucas insisted.

"No," Renjun called over his shoulder. "Just because you didn't think to do it doesn't mean it's cheating."

Lucas was about to answer before noticing Jeno and Donghyuck's arrival, mainly because he almost barreled into them. "Haechan!" he said with flourish, clapping him on the shoulder with less strength than usual. "Happy you're back, and just in time to help me beat Renjun at Mario Kart. He's using shortcuts again."

"You know kicking Renjun's ass is my favorite pastime, but I can't really play video games yet. Concussion, y'know?" Donghyuck said.

Lucas's face fell, vague guilt sitting on his features, and the room descended into a stilted silence for a few moments. Before Donghyuck could change the subject, Ten beat him to it. "Why don't we just play Monopoly, then?" he called from his lounging position on the couch.

"You're really trying to tear this family apart, aren't you? Remember last time?" Jaemin said, even as he got up to go look for the game.

Ten just shrugged. "That'll only be a problem if Jeno buys one of every property again. Then no one could build any hotels and-"

Donghyuck ignored the rest of Ten's tirade and made his way to the couch. Jungwoo was already curled on one end, and he wordlessly opened his arms. Donghyuck fell into them without hesitation, snuggling up until his head was slotted in Jungwoo's neck, tucked under his chin. Jungwoo wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer until half of Donghyuck's body was draped across his chest. He threaded one hand into Donghyuck's hair and cradled the base of his skull, fingers lightly rubbing his scalp and warding off the beginnings of a headache. Donghyuck positively  _melted_ , all of the tension leaving his body with a sigh. "Hyung, you are my favorite person in the world," he mumbled.

"I thought I was?" Jaemin asked, returning with the game in hand.

"That was _so_ two days ago, and I have no loyalty, so you have to step your game up," Donghyuck said, earning him an eyeroll.

Donghyuck felt someone gently lifting his ankle, and he glanced down to see Lucas carefully prop his ankle up on the ottoman, a pillow placed underneath it. Lucas looked at him with a grin, and when Donghyuck gave him a thumbs up, he sent him an exaggerated salute before joining everyone else on the floor. 

"Are you playing, Hyuck?" Renjun asked.

Donghyuck scoffed. "If I had a choice, I'd never move from this spot for the rest of my life. I'll just watch. Try not to scream at each other like last time."

"No promises," Ten said, raising the dice and giving Jeno a suspicious look, which Jeno returned with an unconvincing smile. 

Donghyuck zoned out as they played, letting the constant movement of Jungwoo's hand in his hair and the steady rise and fall of his chest lull him until he was half asleep. He cuddled down further, and Jungwoo hugged him tighter in response, squeezing enough to be reassuring, but shy of painful. Donghyuck was grateful; Jungwoo was the only other member who could rival his love of skinship, and Donghyuck could only recall Jungwoo pulling him closer when he clung to him, never pushing away. The thought spread a warmth in his chest, and he lightly kissed the side of Jungwoo's neck. In return, Jungwoo placed a kiss to the top of his head and leaned down to rest his cheek against Donghyuck's hair. 

Donghyuck was startled out of his half asleep state by Jaemin's frustrated groan. "Jeno,  _why_ would you buy Park Place when I already have Boardwalk! Now I can't build any houses there!"

Jeno blinked at him, while Ten cackled from where he was lounging on the floor, probably glad that he wasn't the target. "Oh, is that how it works?" Jeno asked, the slight smile tugging at his lips giving him away. Jaemin dropped his head in his hands with a long suffering sigh. 

"As fun as it is to watch, I promise you Jeno, if you dare buy the Reading Railroad, I won't hesitate to kick your ass. I mean it this time," Ten said, pointing a threatening finger at Jeno, who only smiled disarmingly in response.

"Speaking of kicking ass," Ten said, gaze sliding over to meet Donghyuck's. "I hear 127 needs to have some sense knocked into them."

Donghyuck sighed and glared at his three same-age friends, who avoided eye contact. "I told you guys about it, what, five hours ago? This must be the record for the worst kept secret in the history of NCT, which is impressive, since gossip in this group spreads faster than it does on Twitter."

Renjun shrugged. "You never said it was a secret, though, so technically, it was fair game."

"Also, we didn't tell them, Ten was just eavesdropping," Jaemin added.

Ten scoffed. "I would never eavesdrop on you guys, since you've never had anything interesting to say in your lives. You guys were yelling about it in the kitchen, like, five feet away; that does not count as eavesdropping. Anyway, as I was _saying_ , I am ready to call them out for being dumbasses. Trust me, you annoy me about 97% of the time, Haechan, but even  _I_ know that you never mess around during serious practices. It's just stupid, someone needs to let them know, and I'm always ready for battle."

Donghyuck scoffed, trying to will away the blush he could feel forming on his cheeks, and looked at Lucas, who startled under his sudden gaze. Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. "Do you know what happened, too?"

Lucas laughed awkwardly. "Um, yeah, they really _were_ yelling pretty loud. And I totally agree with Ten-hyung. No- wait- not about you being annoying 97% of time, because you're like, one of my favorite people to hang out with, but about the battle part."

Donghyuck tried and mostly failed to suppress an embarrassed smile. "You're ready to be my knight in shining armor and defend my honor?" he asked sarcastically, exaggeratedly fluttering his eyelashes. 

Lucas grinned. "Well, if they hurt you, then I have to, huh?"

Donghyuck snorted and looked away, immediately flustered by the serious answer. Goddamn Lucas and his big goofy grin and caring nature. He focused back on Ten instead. "You're ready to defend my honor, too? Aw, Ten, I always knew you secretly loved me. You don't have to hide it anymore."

Ten rolled his eyes, smiling slightly. "You wish, I'm just always ready to call out people when they're being assholes. The fact that I'd also be defending you is an unfortunate side effect. Also, use honorifics, you brat."

Donghyuck laughed obnoxiously, feeling vaguely embarrassed but also unbelievably loved. He nudged Jungwoo's side slightly, leaning back to look at his face. "What about you, hyung? Will you fight in the name of Haechan?" 

"No," Jungwoo said, cackling at Donghyuck's offended expression. "Geez, let me finish before you pout at me like that. I won't  _fight_ them, we'll let Lucas do that, but I will definitely mess with them. Move their furniture over a little so they'll stub their toes, put the cereal all the way back on the highest shelf, tie their shoelaces together- they won't even suspect a thing, because most of them still think I'm sweet and harmless."

Donghyuck laughed and snuggled back down, while Renjun let out a low whistle. "Wow, remind me to never piss Jungwoo-hyung off."

* * *

Donghyuck would have stayed in the Dreamies dorm for the night, if Kun hadn't kicked him out. Well, maybe he didn't necessarily _kick him out_. But, after dinner when they were arguing about where Donghyuck would sleep, his idea of a sleepover was winning by a landslide until Kun had pointed out that Taeyong had picked up the antibiotics and painkillers that he needed to take. Instead of curling up with Jeno (who was the best at cuddling), Donghyuck was sent upstairs with a promise to call Jaemin if anything went wrong. 

Donghyuck opened the door as quietly as possible, hoping that he would be able to slip in undetected and avoid any confrontation until the morning. He made sure the door shut gently behind him and slid the lock shut slowly. He glanced and saw the light on in the kitchen and held his breath, reassuring himself that he just had to be extra quiet. He kept his eyes on the kitchen entryway and moved his crutches forward, only to jump when there was suddenly a loud thump a few feet in front of him.

He glanced down and realized he had accidently punted a stray shoe halfway down the hall with his crutch. He sighed. Typical. He heard footsteps from the kitchen and cursed his luck, looking up at the ceiling and letting out a breath in a sharp huff. 

"Hyuck?" he heard Taeyong say, and  _wow_ , he must have really done something horrible to deserve this much bad karma.

Donghyuck looked at Taeyong and tried to swallow down the emotion to no avail. He felt a sharp spike of sadness, which he quickly tried to mask with an unfamiliar anger; he thought of Jaemin and Ten's words, because like they said, the hyungs had been unfair, they were wrong, he  _should_ be mad. He tried to hold onto that feeling- it hurt less than the lingering disappointment that they hadn't noticed, hadn't seemed to care.

He gave Taeyong a weak smile, which, based on the look on Taeyong's face, wasn't that convincing. "Hi, hyung, I was just going to go to bed."

Donghyuck turned to go down the hall, but Taeyong stepped forward. "But- you're due for your prescriptions. Just- I have them in the kitchen, take them before bed."

Donghyuck wanted to refuse, he really did, but he could already tell his painkillers were starting to wear off, and he'd really hate himself in the morning if he didn't take them. "Okay," he said, following Taeyong into the kitchen and getting the feeling he was walking into a trap.

He sat at the table while Taeyong puttered around the kitchen, his back ramrod straight and shoulders aching due to how tense he was. He jumped a few minutes later when a mug and a handful of pills suddenly entered his line of sight. He took the pills from Taeyong, who stood next to him, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Doyoung told me he owed you hot chocolate, so I made some, but- I could get you just water if you want."

Donghyuck felt some of the tightness in his chest unfurl slightly at the gesture. He shrugged and shook his head, swallowing the pills and washing them down with the hot chocolate. The sweetness spread across his tongue, and he noticed a few marshmallows floating in the cup. It was good- Taeyong was always good at that kind of stuff- and he kept his hands around the mug, letting it warm up his fingers.

Taeyong took the seat across from him, and Donghyuck could practically feel the atmosphere in the room shift. "We need to talk, Hyuck-ah."

Donghyuck knew it was a trap; he also knew there was no way he could outrun Taeyong and escape with a busted ankle. So, he settled for laughing nervously, feeling his heartbeat quicken. "We really don't- I've already met my quota of one heartfelt conversation a day, so I'm good, really."

"Do you want me to step down as leader?" Taeyong blurted, hands wringing on the table. "Because I'd really understand. Someone better, like Doyoung, could take it over. It's up to you, I won't be mad."

The sudden question made Donghyuck freeze for a second, his shield of anger and bitterness fading to be replaced by guilt. How could he ever bring himself to resent Taeyong, when he'd been doing his best to lead eighteen boys to stardom? "What- you can't be serious. I'd never ask you to step down, hyung, you- you're a great leader. You have to handle all of us, and you were dealing with management, and you guys were so stressed, so it's not anyone's fault, it just- happened."

Taeyong huffed and ran his hands through his already mussed hair. "Donghyuck, no, I- I'm doing this all wrong again. I should be able to keep you all safe and deal with management at the same time if I want to call myself a leader, but that's not the point. I don't want you to reassure me, it's okay, it's just something I need to work on, if you still feel comfortable with me as leader."

Taeyong took a moment to collect his thoughts, and Donghyuck fiddled with his hands under the table, biting his lip. "I'm sorry for everything at the hospital, I really shouldn't have said it like that, I was just- I was scared, and angry at myself. The worst part was... I know how it  _feels,_ so I should have recognized it, the fact that you were going through the same thing without me noticing is just... sorry this isn't making much sense, is it?"

Taeyong took a deep breath and let it out slowly, gripping his own warm mug and fiddling with a chip on its handle for a moment before finally looking up. "What I'm trying to say is, I understand feeling like your problems are your own to solve and not wanting to go to the group with it, Hyuck-ah. I was the same way, early on. I thought that since I was the leader... I was supposed to fix everybody's problems, not add my own, y'know? So when things got too much, I just... ignored it, because I thought it was better for the group. Luckily, Johnny and Yuta- they noticed and knocked some sense into me before I could really work myself over the edge, and now they help and pull me back when I get into that mindset."

Taeyong smiled briefly, fondness clear in his eyes, but his expression quickly soured into something like a grimace. "They pull me back, but I didn't pull you back- Jesus, I pushed you  _forward_. You even tried to come to us yourself, which is much braver than I ever was, but... I wouldn't even let you have a _break_. I just didn't see it, how did I not  _see_ it?"

Donghyuck saw Taeyong's eyes begin to water, but the leader stubbornly blinked the tears away. The ache in Donghyuck's heart doubled at the sight, and he opened his mouth to say something, anything to wipe away the pain on Taeyong's face, but he was cut off before he could begin by a sharp shake of Taeyong's head. 

"Hyuckie, I know what you're going to try to do but- it's not okay, and it's not your job to make it okay. Whether we were stressed or not, we should have noticed. You're allowed to have problems, and I should never have let you feel like you have to deal with everything alone. You can be mad at us, or yell at me, anything, but just, please, let me in. I really don't deserve it... but you can't ignore your problems, or your feelings... I know that better than anyone."

Donghyuck sat in silence and stared at his hands, mulling over Taeyong's words. It was scary, terrifying really, and his first instinct was telling him to lighten the moment with a joke and go to bed. But, honestly, he was sick of it. Of pretending, and dealing with everything on his own, and shutting most of his hyungs out. Taeyong had opened up to him, so what the hell. To hell with ignoring your problems, that's what had gotten him here in the first place.

"I'm not mad at you guys... I know I probably should be, but I just can't stay mad." Donghyuck looked up at Taeyong, taking up a deep breath. "I'm not mad, I'm just... sad."

Donghyuck knew it wasn't much, that he hadn't really shared anything groundbreaking, but Taeyong was looking at him with a proud smile, and that was enough for him to ignore how exposed he felt. Taeyong walked over and crouched next to him, wrapping him in a tight hug, his hand cupping the back of Donghyuck's neck. 

"Thank you for telling me that. And- I promise, I'll do everything I can to never be the reason you're sad again."

Donghyuck wrapped his arms around Taeyong. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged the leader- he had to do this more often though, Taeyong gave surprisingly good hugs. 

"We'll pull each other back from now on, right?" Donghyuck said.

Taeyong's grip tightened. "Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> so sorry for the wait, I really don't have a good excuse for how long this took, just school and dwindling motivation to write between assignments. But! thankfully the semester is over :D
> 
> thank you for all of the kudos and wonderful comments, they really motivate me and seeing a new notification for this story always makes my day<3
> 
> Please let me know what you though about this chapter!! I absolutely love hearing what you think(: 
> 
> Also, I'm so happy Hyuck is healed and healthy and able to perform again! Let's wish 127 happiness and health as they finish the North American tour(: also lets stream the hell out of the music video for Superhuman when it comes out, the song is crazy good******


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